I hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as I enjoyed speaking with Sherry!
Get your copy of “Why Men Marry Bitches” from Amazon here. Learn more about Sherry’s work at http://www.sherryargov.com
HAVE YOU READ “WHY MEN MARRY BITCHES”?
Years ago, my friend Rachel recommended a book called ” Why Men Marry Bitches“. The title was striking! “BITCHES”??? All of the women my client’s propose to are incredibly sweet and kind. It’s never a surprise to me that their fiancé puts so much thought and care into their proposal. Rachel’s rave reviews and the title intrigued me.
Hopeful I’d learn something I could apply to my own relationships, I ordered my copy from Amazon. The book delivered. It became a bible, a reference book on my shelf I often refer to. Now I understand what “B.I.T.C.H” means in Sherry Argov‘s definition. (HINT: a “BITCH” is NOT a rude or un-self aware woman). The book provides practical advice on how to hold your own in relationships.
Sherry is not only insightful, she’s hilarious. The dose of humor she brings to a loaded topic like “marriage” makes her advice easily digestible and fun to read. You’re going to be informed and entertained. Her book is for all genders and anyone who wants to get engaged one day. I reference it a few times a year because I’m always learning something new.
“A secret I uncovered when I did my research was that men don’t just want a girl who’s just trying to be pretty and kept. They want someone who challenges them mentally and contributes in various ways. They respect women who go against the grain and aren’t afraid to step out of the role models and brainwashing that they are taught. It’s very interesting how aware men are of the pressures that women have to go through with regard to their roles as women. A woman who’s willing to be far more than a sex object garners respect from them. “- Sherry Argov
What’s a “BITCH” in Sherry’s definition?
“B.I.T.C.H” is used as an acronym for a “BABE IN TOTAL CONTROL OF HERSELF”. The “B.I.T.C.H” in Argov’s definition is person who is dignified, self-respecting and makes responsible and loving decisions for themselves.
“I use the word playfully. If you write a book called “Why Men Like Confident Women who have dignity”, it doesn’t fit on the cover. It refers to a woman who has a backbone, stands up for what she believes in, contributes, and is an equal player. Someone who’s not just a pretty arm piece or a trophy wife. “- Sherry Argov
As a marriage proposal specialist and planner, I’m getting asked “Can I propose during COVID 19 or should I wait?”. While a global pandemic ripping across the world doesn’t feel like an ideal scenario, you can still propose. These are my thoughts on how to propose marriage during COVID 19 (even in quarantine)!
From Proposal to Pandemic!
We spent hours coordinating and brainstorming the perfect plan and strategy. I instructed my clients how to cleverly lure their loved ones to private rooftops, waterfronts, parks and even the center of Times Square, where a fifty-foot billboard would be flashing the words “Will You Marry Me”. Violinists and acoustic guitarists learned the couple’s favorite songs. Floral arrangements, light up signs and champagne were ordered. The couples were coming from the UK, Australia, all around the US, even some from across town with dreams of Instagram worthy marriage proposals here in New York City. I had advised and arranged it all. Then came COVID 19.
The stakes are high when proposing marriage. It happens one time, so you want to get it right. My clients trust me, because I’ve consulted, orchestrated, and photographed over 1700 engagements for couples from around the world. They have different tastes and styles, but most want to make a statement and have beautiful pictures to show it off. I’ve dealt with bad weather, sickness, deaths in the family, and couples arguing right before getting engaged. I believe “bad” timing is sometimes the best timing, because when life gets tough, we get serious about our priorities. Plan A and B may have been scrapped, but we have Plan C, which could mean trading your destination proposal for your couch.
Do I need a ring to Propose?
If you don’t have a ring (because you didn’t get one before the shutdown or the ring is stuck with the jeweler), you can still propose! Around 30% of my clients proposed without a ring. I’ve had clients propose with Ring Pops, a Hello Kitty ring, and designer bags. I even had someone propose with a pack of M & Ms! His speech was “Will You Marry Me? I don’t have a ring, but I have snacks!” He had told his girlfriend he was taking her to dinner as his proposal ruse, so she was hangry up until the moment he popped the question. She lost her appetite from excitement and next day she picked out the ring of her choice at the jeweler. She was so happy to get the exact ring of her dreams.
“Home is where the heart is”
A quarantined proposal is a chance to be yourself. You’re going to spend the rest of your lives living in close quarters, so this is a preview of life at home. Your partner is most likely not expecting you to propose at home especially under these circumstances. This is an opportunity to create an extraordinary moment in an ordinary place. You’re making the cliché “Home is where the heart is”, literal. Scheming up a quarantined proposal with your partner a few feet away might seem daunting, but there are sneaky ways to transform your home while they’re with you. You can get to work while they’re asleep or can you plot and prepare in another room on a “work call”.
drawing by Ambrosia Sullivan
How to Propose in Quarantine
You go the classic romantic route and transform your space, with flowers and candles and spell out Marry Me. If that’s not your style, think about how you met, your first date, or an inside joke you share. A proposal can be romantic, sentimental, even irreverent.
I’ve had guys who met their girlfriends on a dating apps print out their first conversation on the app and frame it. Another couple, Tova and Joey played Scrabble on their first date, so the Joey bought a Scrabble board and glued down the pieces to spell out “Will you Marry Me”.
I like the idea of suggesting a spa night and role-playing masseuse. “I’m going to write a word on your back and you have to guess what it is”, you then spell out “will you marry me”. You can bathe, or shower together ask your partner to shampoo your hair and as they turn to grab the shampoo bottle drop to your knee.
Take advantage of your food stockpile with a sexy game. Blindfold your partner and hand them different foods to taste like in the film, 9 ½ weeks. When they reach out their hand after a few passes of whipped cream, honey and olives, you slide the ring on their finger!
Less sexy, but surely to be surprising: change their desktop image or screensaver of their computer to say “Will You Marry Me”! You can also add a slideshow of memories. With constant deliveries these days, you can re-package the ring inside a large Amazon box and then ask your partner to open it. They may be thinking it’s a delivery of Lysol wipes, but the ring box is inside!
You can try to woo them by making their favorite meal, setting down table cloth and lighting candle. Or you can leave the table a mess and make something they don’t particularly like for dinner! Then say… “I have something good for desert”! They may think you’re bringing out brownies, but you present a tray with the ring!
A few things…
Avoid choking hazards like the ring in a drink or having your pet carrying the ring! Now is not the time you want to visit a hospital for yourself or your pet! Don’t forget to get your ring insured. You can do it remotely!
Please don’t propose during sex! I know it seems spontaneous. However, I here from “proposees” (those who are dreaming of being proposed to), that they want their proposal to feel thoughtful. Sex is thoughtless by design. Get it on after!
Don’t forget to get down on your knee!
If you live in an area where you have plenty of space to social distance then there are lots of opportunities for proposing on a hike, bike ride, a picnic, or on a path where you share your weekend walks with your dog. I’ve had lots of couples propose on their Sunday coffee stroll. I even had a client propose at 7am on his daily walk to work with his future fiancé! We often take the places that make up the background of our lives for granted. These proposal locations are unexpected precisely because they seem ordinary. Before COVID, I barely acknowledged the benches over by the ferry landing near my apartment. I cherish those benches now! If you live near a bike path or a body of water I’m sure you’re appreciating it more than ever. Lucky for you, you may have a great proposal spot right in your backyard. If you have a real backyard then you’ve won the the socially-distanced proposal-setting lottery! These ordinary places in your neighborhood may not be Bali or Paris, but they’re home.
Documenting the Proposal
Photography and videography are possible with the right precautions. If you were hoping to have amazing engagement portraits taken after the proposal, that’s trickier. Even when photographing the most adept posers, there are physical adjustments I make to get the positioning just right. I often position my clients hands to get the perfect angle of the engagement ring. With COVID that’s not possible. It may be safer to wait for engagement portraits. In the meantime you can absolutely have the moment of your proposal photographed outdoors with proper social distancing.
Professional photography or videography isn’t possible in quarantine, but you can set up a Nest camera before the proposal and discreetly film the entire thing.
Put time into crafting your speech. Words are invisible, so you won’t make a suspicious mess while writing it! I’ve noticed some people want the proposal or the ring to speak for them. Use your words. In this time of COVID, everyone is feeling some level of anxiety and uncertainty about the future. Your speech showcases the certainty of your love. You can use this line or some variation of it while you are down on your knee …
“In this time of uncertainty, I know I’m certain about you. I’m happy stuck in quarantine with you forever. “Will You Marry Me”?
Celebrate your Engagement!
If you’re unable to see family and friends, calling or Facetiming with the news of your engagement is sure to uplift their spirits. Now they have events to look forward to in the future! You can celebrate with an online engagement party. If you’re anxious, you can get married over Zoom in some states!
The time to Propose is NOW!
Your quarantined proposal may not be the most elaborate, but it can sentimental, spontaneous, heartfelt and even sexy. If you are in a great relationship and know your partner wants to marry you, they will say “yes”. The pandemic forced you make the most of an unpleasant situation and be resourceful. Those character traits anyone would say “YES” to for a lifetime commitment. If for some reason they say “no” maybe this wasn’t the person for you and you’re lucky to know and now get on with your precious life.
We know so little about what the future holds, with information changing from day to day. Take this opportunity to propose your lifelong commitment to the person you love, and take comfort in knowing whatever catastrophe comes your way you’ll be in it together.
https://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Proposing_During_COVID_Ash_Fox_Ambrosia_Sullivan.jpg860750Ash Foxhttps://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Ash-Fox-Primary.black-3.pngAsh Fox2020-05-21 19:38:532022-05-07 16:47:11How to Propose Marriage During COVID
You’ll spend days, weeks, or even months planning the perfect proposal for your loved one, but the moment will be over in an instant when it finally arrives. Even with a private proposal, you can savor the moment for life by organizing a proposal photoshoot. And the end result is walking away with priceless photographs you can both cherish forever, making the careful planning process worthwhile.
New York City-based photographer Ash Fox has captured over 1,500 proposals, and has since taken over planning duties for her clients as well. From scouting locations to helping organize special post-engagement celebrations, she works with her couples to create an experience they won’t forget. After documenting the moment for so many clients, she now shares her expert advice with valuable proposal photoshoot tips that you need to know for your very own engagement. All you have to do is be present when you pop the question.
Simplicity Is Beautiful
While some couples might enjoy a flashy engagement, simple moments have the potential to be more meaningful. “There’s been a real turn back to basics these days, which I actually prefer,” Fox tells The Knot. “Most of the guys I work with just want a raw and simple-but-beautiful moment in a beautiful location. They want the proposal to be about them and not a whole over-the-top thing.”
She adds that while a flamboyant gesture might sound fun, it could take away from the entire love story in the first place.
“The beauty of the proposal is that it’s totally about the couple, and their love and commitment to each other.”
Make it Intimate
While most couples will want to celebrate with their loved ones after their engagement, a large group could ruin a proposal photoshoot. “I think it’s really nice to keep that moment intimate between the two of you,” Fox advises. “When I’ve done a proposal with a big group of family and friends, [everyone else] gets excited and jumps into the photo. They don’t realize they’ve messed up the photo he’s planned for weeks or months.”
Celebrate with everyone else after
If you want to include family and friends in the moment, consider arranging a small gathering after the proposal photoshoot. Unless a family member is integral to the proposal (say, one party’s child), Fox suggests hiding other family members nearby to let them gather once the proposal ends. “Instead, surprise the couple after the proposal,” she suggests.
“Sometimes you can do a double surprise by proposing first, and then revealing that your friends and family are there.”
Adhere to This One Tradition
While Fox encourages her clients to be creative with their proposal ideas, she urges them to keep one aspect of the entire gesture traditional.
“Some people these days don’t get down on their knee,” she says. “But it makes for great photos because, if you’re standing, you can’t tell who’s proposing.”
Hide Your Proposal Photographer
In order to maximize the element of surprise, Fox reiterates the importance of hiding the photographer during the proposal photoshoot. “A lot of times I’ve done proposals where I’ve pretended it’s a regular photo shoot,” she reveals. “We’ll spend a couple of hours together, and sometimes, she doesn’t realize we’re scheming right in front of her! Other times I’m in plain sight, but I just look like a tourist with a big camera.”
Hire an Expert
If you’ve scouted a beautiful or sentimental destination, ensure you have a true professional – like me! – to capture your special day with your loved one.
https://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/DSC_9718.jpg18001201Ash Foxhttps://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Ash-Fox-Primary.black-3.pngAsh Fox2020-03-06 19:59:182022-06-02 00:25:04The Best Proposal Photoshoot Tips for Nailing the Moment
Are you planning on proposing during the holiday season? In this video, I talk about the top three places you can pop the question!
The Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center Skating Rink – On the rink, you’ll get a open, unobstructed view of the tree with you and your partner in front of it.
The Palace Hotel – This hotel decorates a gorgeous Christmas tree every year during the holidays – it’s also been featured on shows like Gossip Girl.
A private rooftop – When it’s chilly out, you’ll have a private, intimate space for you decorated the way you want! You’ll also have an indoor space to get warm in between shots.
Want to learn more about how to propose to your loved one? I talk about proposals, engagements, questions and more on my Youtube channel at www.youtube.com/ashfoxproposals! Make sure you like and subscribe for more :)
https://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/DSC_7080.jpg15001001Ash Foxhttps://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Ash-Fox-Primary.black-3.pngAsh Fox2020-03-03 23:03:342022-04-21 03:03:06Top 3 Places to Propose During the Holiday Season
https://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/DSC_1523.jpg18001201Ash Foxhttps://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Ash-Fox-Primary.black-3.pngAsh Fox2020-03-03 22:55:472020-05-30 14:02:57Can you propose in a restaurant?
https://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/DSC_4926.jpg12011800Ash Foxhttps://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Ash-Fox-Primary.black-3.pngAsh Fox2020-02-13 23:05:002020-05-30 14:04:39Should You Have Family Present When You Propose?
https://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/DSC_9650.jpg18001201Ash Foxhttps://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Ash-Fox-Primary.black-3.pngAsh Fox2020-02-12 20:50:002022-04-21 03:05:33What to Say When You Propose!
In this video, I talk about why it’s important that you ensure your partner has a fresh manicure for your surprise – you want your ring to look beautiful on your loved one’s hand in your photos! But how do we make sure your partner’s hands are prepped?
I upload videos weekly on my Youtube channel and talk about proposal planning, locations, and more! Make sure you like and subscribe at www.youtube.com/ashfoxproposals for more!
https://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/DSC_5583.jpg15001001Ash Foxhttps://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Ash-Fox-Primary.black-3.pngAsh Fox2019-09-13 10:48:002022-04-21 03:06:24How to Ensure a Manicure for Your Surprise Proposal
The Proposal Podcast by Ash Fox, is the first Podcast all about getting engaged. This is the place to get insider tips tricks and insight into proposing. This is free advice from proposal expert, Ash Fox who has helped plan over 1500 marriage proposals for men and women from all over the world.
On the Proposal Podcast Ash will be guiding you through everything you need to know for planning your perfect proposal, from where to start, timing the proposal, buying a ring, how to write the perfect speech, how to know if you should propose, locations, what you should do after you propose, and how to integrate family into your proposal among many other topics. Ash will also be speaking with experts on relationships, the ring industry, and real couples with unique proposal stories.
If you have questions you would like to submit to the podcast, you can DM Ash on Instagram @ashfoxproposals or email Ash with the subject title “Proposal Podcast Question”
https://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Podcastlogo.jpg18202369Ash Foxhttps://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Ash-Fox-Primary.black-3.pngAsh Fox2019-03-21 18:00:332022-05-17 17:58:34The Proposal Podcast: Where to Start When Planning Your Proposal
7 Ways to Get Your Partner to Dress Up for Your Proposal (without them knowing you’re going to propose)!
If you’re having your proposal photographed, you’ll want to look your best. Even if you’re not having the moment photographed, you’ll want to feel your best. Wear whatever you feel most confident in; that outfit that makes you want to wink at yourself in the mirror. If you do plan on a having a photographer, you’ll want to look at the images without cringing over your outfit twenty years from now. Stick to the classics and opt for neutral or primary colors. For men, a blazer and subtly printed shirt with nice pants or jeans works great. For women, a white, black, or red dress makes a statement. Some of the most flattering outfit choices for women in photographs are solid colors versus prints.
Whether you love dressing up or you prefer rocking athleticwear or jeans, choosing what to wear to your proposal can be a challenge. It’s an even trickier challenge if you plan on having the moment photographed and you want your future fiancé to be pleased with what they’re wearing in photographs that will last a lifetime.
So how do you get your partner to dress for a proposal? Take them to brunch, dinner, a work event, or even a wedding if you think they would want to be at their most elegant. Hopefully, you have a sense of what your partner feels best in, so create your proposal plan based on how dressy you think he or she would like to feel. Think about what matters most to them. Is she crazy about her hair looking good? Does she love formal attire?
Many guys tell me their girlfriends would kill them if they had their proposal photographed and they weren’t dressed up. But how do you get your partner to dress up without ruining the surprise? Here are my top seven tips:
Tell your her you’re going to a formal work event and they have to meet you there.
2. Say you made a reservation for a restaurant or bar with a strict dress code!
3. Propose on a day you know she’ll already be dressed up—like after a graduation party, work event or friend’s birthday!
4. Tell your partner you booked a special couple’s photo shoot for the two of you so she or he will wear what they feel best in.
5. Tell her an old friend from college is having a black-tie wedding if you want your partner to be dressed super formal.
6. Buy a nice outfit for your partner as a gift in advance, tell them how great they look in it and then ask them to wear it for a special night out!
7. Mention an outfit of theirs that you know they love and tell her you’d love them to wear it that day. A good way to ensure they don’t expect anything is to start priming them by saying “you look so great in that blue top” every time they wear this outfit and asking them to wear it on dates out. Everyone responds positively to compliments, so when the day of the proposal finally comes, if you ask them to wear the blue top they’ll never suspect this means their proposal is about to happen! This one takes a bit of advance work but in the end she will be dressed up!
Thanks for checking out this post! I’m Ash Fox a proposal photographer, planner and advisor based in New York City. I help people from all over the world propose here in NYC and would love to help you too! Whether you need proposal ideas, help choosing a location, photography, videography, live music, a private rooftop, decorations or anything else, I’m here to help. Feel free to reach out! :)
https://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/DSC_2502-2.jpg12011800Ash Foxhttps://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Ash-Fox-Primary.black-3.pngAsh Fox2019-02-20 22:48:572022-05-17 17:59:157 Ways to Get Your Girlfriend to Dress Up for Your Proposal
Discovering restaurants is a huge part of New York life. I’ve lived in this fine city for 13 years and I’m constantly learning about new places, from my friends, family and many of my clients . In NYC some of the best places are the ones that have been here the longest, but there are also fantastic new places that pop up every day.
Whether you are looking to go to dinner before your proposal, propose over dinner, or have a celebratory meal following your engagement, I’ve got you covered.
Here are my favorite ideas from fine dining to old school classic romantic NYC options.
Higher End Dining
Park Avenue Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring (the name, menu and decor change seasonally. I love the way the decor and menu shifts for each season. It is the Iron Chef Geoffrey Zakarian’s restaurant. https://www.parkavenyc.com
One if by Land Two if By Sea This place is known as “The Most Romantic Restaurant in NYC” and so it is perfect for a post proposal dinner. There’s a fire place and a piano player and it’s located in the West Village on a quaint cobble stone street https://oneifbyland.com
Daniel Many of my clients rave about this Michelin Starred restaurant. It is the epitome of Fine Dining in NYC and will definitely make a impression on your fiancé. Daniel Boulud is the chef https://www.danielnyc.com
Midrange and Old School Dining
El Parador – This is one of my favorite place to go to celebrate. The food is delicious, the drinks are excellent. The waiters are dressed up and every table is dressed with a table cloth and candles. Insider tip: Get the peanut butter jalepenos! https://www.elparadorcafe.com
2. John’s of 12th street – This place feels like you’re in a Woody Allen movie. This is an old school Italian restaurant with excellent food that gives you the vibe of being in Lady in the Tramp with your parter. I highly recommend the shrimp parmesan and the Tirimisu. I never had a thing for Tiramisu until I tried it there. https://www.johnsof12thstreet.com
3. The Mermaid Inn- This is a wonderful cozy spot if you love seafood! Everything is fresh and delicious http://themermaidnyc.com
4. Gaonurri – If you want to be surrounded by gorgeous views this is the place to go! The cuisine is high end Korean. https://www.gaonnurinyc.com
5. Minetta Tavern – One of the best burgers in NYC in an old school elegant setting. Get the Minetta burger and the Black Label and share! http://minettatavernny.com
The best bars to celebrate your proposal!
Angel Share- Angel Share is one of the best hidden speakeasy bars in NYC and is my absolute favorite. It is hidden inside a bustling Japanese casual restaurant. When you walk to the backroom there is an elegant bar dimly lit with velvet seats, jazz playing and angel mural on the top of the bar. The drinks are insane. The place is super sexy and romantic and a great place to relax and celebrate being engaged https://www.yelp.com/biz/angels-share-new-york
2. Rains Law Room at the William Hotel (reserve a private booth) – This place is super quiet and a romantic place to let loose and make-out after your proposal. There are private booths where you can drink and have privacy https://www.raineslawroom.com
3. The Polo Bar – This bar is owned and designed by fashion designer Ralph Lauren. Imagine mahogany wood, leather tufted seats and candles galore in an ultra luxury Americana setting. https://www.ralphlauren.com/global-polo-bar
https://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/DSC_2213-1.jpg23363500Ash Foxhttps://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Ash-Fox-Primary.black-3.pngAsh Fox2018-10-31 15:28:482022-05-17 18:04:28The Most Romantic Restaurants for Dinner after Your Proposal