When New York City-based photographer Ash Fox was first asked to document a couple’s planned proposal, her initial reaction was, “You can’t have one private moment?!” Still, she took the job and dutifully showed up, camera in hand “and I saw how incredible this moment is,” says Fox, who now swears the on-bended-knee occasion is actually more romantic than the wedding day. “The wedding to me is more of a performance for friends and family,” she explains, “and this is a very candid moment, just for you and your partner.”
Since that first proposal in 2011, Fox has captured – and meticulously planned out – close to 1,000 “Will you marry me?” moments.
After shooting a few, “I started to realize what worked and what didn’t,” she explains. “And I found that when new guys approached me, I could guide them as far as the steps and strategy to get the best reaction.” Soon she found herself scouting venues, booking singers (“I only use musicians who perform with the top artists: Lady Gaga, Tony Bennett, Harry Connick Jr., Seal,”) and even lay ing down rose petals all in the name of making dreams come true. “It was a progression from photographing them to becoming their partner in crime and their coach in the process to becoming the person who orchestrates every element,” says Fox. “I’m doing everything-I’m a one-woman operation.”
She’ll also execute anything an aspiring groom can dream up, but she says her private rooftop proposal packages in Times Square “are just foolproof romantic things girls love.” To make the events even more spcial, she finds ways to personalize each one. “I’ve had some crazy ones where they’re like, ‘I want fireworks and ballerinas and red carpets,” she recalls. “So I have to bring them back down to earth.”
But as long as it’s legal, she’s open to trying it. Some of her favorite moments come when a guy really knows his wife-to-be. One guy wanted to pop the question to his Game of Thrones-loving girlfriend in front of a castle, so Fox scouted out a mansion in nearby Tarrytown, New York, coached the boyfriend to tell his love they were going to a wedding, and then posed as the photographer capturing each couple as they walked in. When her client dropped to his knee, “It was perfect,” she recalls, “because she loved fairytales.”
Another potential groom had Fox reserve a table at a library-themed bar for him and his bookworm girlfriend and place a copy of her favorite tome, Jane Eyre, on the shelf. (When she opened it, there was a heart shaped cut-out and a message asking for her hand in marriage.) “I’m sitting there behind this big newspaper hiding my camera,” reminisces Fox, who’s also posed as a restaurant maître d’, a winery employee, and a fellow tourist. “They walk in and like clockwork she sees Jane Eyre, pulls it down, opens it up and he’s down on one knee. Moments like that make me cry.”
In fact more than six years in, Fox says she still regularly finds herself teary-eyed. “I definitely get emotionally involved in every proposal,” says the pro. “It’s always new to me. I’m not jaded.” After all, she realizes she gets to be a person who literally makes dreams come true for a living.
“I want the people I work with to really have everything that they imagined come to life,” says Fox, adding she’s considering increasingly grander moments.
(On her wish list: a private fireworks proposal and one in every major city, which is why she tries to book clients every time she travels.) Continues Fox, “It’s just beautiful to witness and see how it all comes together. I’m so blessed. I have the best job.”
https://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/DSC_1523.jpg18001201Ash Foxhttps://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Ash-Fox-Primary.black-3.pngAsh Fox2020-03-06 22:58:092022-05-07 16:48:21This Is What It’s Like to Plan Proposals for a Living
Proposal Planner Reveals How To Plan A Fairytale Proposal
In our carefree digital world where texting and online dating is the norm, much of romance and chivalry has, unfortunately, fallen by the wayside
So it’s comforting to know some old-fashioned things haven’t changed. The beautiful tradition of a marriage proposal is one life event that is still alive and absolutely thriving, which is great news for all of my fellow hopeless romantics out there.
Ash Fox, professional proposal photographer and planner, actually helps her clients plan a Pinterest-perfect marriage proposal, similar to (if not better than) the classics you’ve fallen irrevocably in love with on the big screen.
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“I’m a true romantic. I believe in love, and I’ve always been really into fairytales and love stories,” Ash tells Elite Daily.
But can a marriage proposal actually go wrong? I mean, once you fork out thousands of dollars on an exquisite ring, how difficult can it be to get down on one knee and say the four simple words, “Will you marry me?”
Well, as Ash explains, “Nowadays, in 2017, if there wasn’t a picture it didn’t happen, right?”
I guess there wouldn’t be need for a professional proposal planner if these things always went according to plan.
When it comes down to it, every gal is unique and has different taste. Some guys know exactly how their main girl would love the special moment to go down, but others need help. That’s where Ash comes in.
So guys, these are the 10 elements that will help you plan a successful fairytale proposal, according to this professional proposal planner and photographer:
1. KEEP THE ENTIRE PROPOSAL PLAN QUIET.
If you want this moment to come as a complete surprise, you shouldn’t get friends or family involved in any part of it. According to Ash, “What I’ve seen is a lot of times these family members spill the beans inadvertently.”
The proposal and all of the details surrounding it should be a secret, or else someone will inevitably crack and spill the beans. Your girl will find out, and you can kiss the shock factor goodbye.
Ash says keeping it an irreplaceable, private moment between just the two of you is all you need.
I’m a true romantic. I believe in love, and I’ve always been really into fairytales and love stories.
2. FIND A PLANNER WHO WILL BE YOUR “PARTNER IN CRIME.”
“I work with men and women from all over the world who come to New York City and want to propose to their loved one… I’m their partner in crime,” Ash says.
Think of her as your “coach,” as Ash put it. She’ll ask the right questions and learn as much about you as a couple to help turn your vision into a reality.
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She’ll keep you calm and guide you through the game in order to help you hit an incredible home run. “He needs help — some outside help. Someone he can really trust who’s not going to say anything, who’s not connected,” she says.
If necessary, on the day of the proposal, she often disguises herself to blend in at the venue before taking pictures of the special moment. She’ll also help you practice the proposal beforehand in a mini walk-through to help put you at ease.
3. CHOOSE A FAIRYTALE LOCATION TO POP THE QUESTION.
Is your loved one more of a private person, or do they like excitement and spontaneity? Will they want a dramatic backdrop, like Times Square, or would they prefer something classic, like a romantic restaurant?
How about a picnic while lounging barefoot at the beach, complete with wine and chocolate-covered strawberries?
If you’re ready to propose to this woman, you should already know what she really enjoys and what locations have special meaning to her. In order to figure out where to set this scene, Ash tells her clients to go with their gut instincts.
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“I usually tell [guys], ‘Go with your gut when you look at the pictures. Imagine yourself in those locations and say, ‘can I imagine myself there with my loved one?’” she says.
This is a no-judgment zone, so anything you think will make your gal’s dream come true is fair game. A gal’s dream is a gal’s dream, and it’s your job to make it magical.
But magic can be simple. “If we’re going to keep it simple with just a beautiful location, beautiful scenery, sometimes that’s all you need,” Ash says.
4. CONSIDER THE GIRL’S TASTE, AND RUN WITH IT.
The details you choose will depend on whether you and your girl’s taste is more simple and natural, elegant and elaborate, or someplace in between.
“Everyone’s different. Every girl’s different in what she wants. And so, the important thing is really knowing your girlfriend or your boyfriend and what they would like, and making their proposal unique to them,” Ash says.
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Would she want champagne and rose petals scattered in the shape of a heart? Maybe a large sign in a candle-lit barn saying, “Ken Loves Barbie Forever?”
You get the picture. You need to personalize the event. A videographer, harpist, balloons, a release of butterflies at just the right moment or even a cute puppy with “will you marry me?” written on the name tag are all unique elements that can bring your fairytale to life.
Those are just some of my personal fairytales, because when it comes down to it, everyone’s taste is different, and this moment is all about you.
As Ash puts it, “The ones that really move me the most are the ones where the couple, they just really know each other.”
This is your “movie moment.” It needs to be intimate, magnificent and unique for both of you.
5. DON’T SPEND ALL OF YOUR MONEY ON THE RING.
Obviously, everything costs money. And dollar bills sadly don’t grow on trees.
Ash reminds to every guy that getting engaged should not be all about the ring — it’s really about that extraordinary moment you create.
“It’s really about the two of you, it’s not about all of this extraneous stuff,” Ash says. So you don’t need to break the bank to make this amazing. The magic is all in the presentation and creating a memory.
(OK, NOT going to lie here, I think all my ladies can agree that every one of us is going to want a gorgeous ring in a damn beautiful setting. It will be a focal point and on your finger forever, but that’s a conversation for another time.)
6. CHOOSE WORDS THAT HAVE INTIMATE MEANING TO BOTH OF YOU, AND DON’T RUSH THEM.
It’s extremely important for you to choose your words intimately. Focusing on what you really want to say to her is key because you’ll both remember them for the rest of your lives.
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But Ash won’t help you with this one… she recommends you speak from the heart, and advises you say whatever those words are slowly. What you say can be as elaborate or simple, as long as it’s heartfelt.
“I think simple romance is sometimes all you need,” Ash says.
“Sometimes if you do it [on Valentine’s Day], it’s too obvious,” Ash says.
Think outside the box, and be creative when it comes to the day you pick. Ash reveals sometimes her busier days are actually the day before or the day after Valentine’s Day, but a guy can make his proposal a much better, more unexpected surprise.
Pick a date, plan, time and place where she won’t see the proposal coming. We all know Valentine’s Day is all about love, but it’s the most predictable day of the year to pop the question.
8. DON’T STRESS-EAT BEFOREHAND.
Whatever you do, don’t plan a meal before you propose. You and your now-fiancé can go out afterward to celebrate. Nerves can do funny things to all of us, and stress-eating isn’t going to help you calm those nerves.
“Don’t eat before the proposal, eat after. You don’t want to be too nervous that you lose your lunch,” Ash says.
A proposal should not be done on a full stomach. (Ash is speaking from past proposals, so trust her on this one, guys). You don’t want to end up in the bathroom at the worst possible time!
Don’t eat before the proposal, eat after. You don’t want to be too nervous that you lose your lunch.
9. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE TIMING — IT’S EVERYTHING.
No matter how much you plan for this, you need to capture the moment. If you listened to Ash’s earlier advice, you already have your photographer standing by to catch the perfect shot. But now you have to consider the timing and location.
Ash says timing and having a good sense of your surroundings is critical. “The only horror stories I have is where the guy doesn’t listen to me and there ends up being a stampede walking by.”
So when you’re about to get down on one knee, feel out the perfect moment, cease it and go for the gold without waiting too long. Otherwise, that stampede is going to come in and ruin your moment.
10. PRINCE CHARMING BEST GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE. IT’S THE ONLY WAY.
This one’s not an option, guys. It’s a must.
“If I had it my way, a proposal would only be a proposal if the person was down on their knee. If they’re not down on their knee, sorry. It wasn’t a proposal, according to me,” Ash says.
Proposing is a time to proclaim one’s love. As Ash puts it, it takes a strong person to get down on one knee and pop the question. It’s what makes it a real proposal. “Get down on your knee, and stay on your knee until you’re done with your speech,” she adds.
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Being down on your knee is very “humbling” and will make you extremely “vulnerable.” And in this case, you want to be vulnerable. You’re professing your love!
But more than that, it’s plain, old sexy to ask her on bended knee. Standing while handing a woman an engagement ring is a major NO.
If they’re not down on their knee, sorry. It wasn’t a proposal.
This is a really sensational and unforgettable event in your life together. Every guy should know his future bride better than anyone on this earth, so deciding the where, when and how should be pretty effortless.
“The times that are the most emotional for me, where I might shed a tear, are where I feel like my client really nailed it in knowing their partner and making the moment of their dreams,” Ash reveals.
If you follow your heart and sincere intuition, you can’t go wrong. Above all, Ash recommends keeping it classic and romantic. The simpler, the better, in her opinion.
To every guy out there: You should be sentimental and focus the entire plan around the love you both share now and forever.
https://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/DSC_6755.jpg18001201Ash Foxhttps://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Ash-Fox-Primary.black-3.pngAsh Fox2018-09-07 19:20:052022-06-02 22:02:19Ash Fox Proposals featured on Elite Daily
When New York City-based photographer Ash Fox was first asked to document a couple’s planned proposal, her initial reaction was, “You can’t have one private moment?!” Still, she took the job and dutifully showed up, camera in hand “and I saw how incredible this moment is,” says Fox, who now swears the on-bended-knee occasion is actually more romantic than the wedding day. “The wedding to me is more of a performance for friends and family,” she explains, “and this is a very candid moment, just for you and your partner.” Since that first proposal in 2011, Fox has captured—and meticulously planned out—close to 1,000 “Will you marry me?” moments.
After shooting a few, “I started to realize what worked and what didn’t,” she explains. “And I found that when new guys approached me, I could guide them as far as the steps and strategy to get the best reaction.” Soon she found herself scouting venues, booking singers (“I only use musicians who perform with the top artists: Lady Gaga, Tony Bennett, Harry Connick Jr., Seal,”) and even laying down rose petals all in the name of making dreams come true. “It was a progression from photographing them to becoming their partner in crime and their coach in the process to becoming the person who orchestrates every element,” says Fox. “I’m doing everything—I’m a one-woman operation.”
She’ll also execute anything an aspiring groom can dream up, but she says her private rooftop proposal packages in Times Sqaure “are just foolproof romantic things girls love.” To make the events even more spcial, she finds ways to personalize each one. “I’ve had some crazy ones where they’re like, ‘I want fireworks and ballerinas and red carpets,” she recalls. “So I have to bring them back down to earth.”
But as long as it’s legal, she’s open to trying it. Some of her favorite moments come when a guy really knows his wife-to-be. One guy wanted to pop the question to his Game of Thrones-loving girlfriend in front of a castle, so Fox scouted out a manse in nearby Tarrytown, New York, coached the boyfriend to tell his love they were going to a wedding, and then posed as the photographer capturing each couple as they walked in. When her client dropped to his knee, “It was perfect,” she recalls, “because she loved fairytales.”
Another potential groom had Fox reserve a table at a library-themed bar for him and his bookworm girlfriend and place a copy of her favorite tome, Jane Eyre, on the shelf. (When she opened it, there was a heart shaped cut-out and a message asking for her hand in marriage.) “I’m sitting there behind this big newspaper hiding my camera,” reminisces Fox, who’s also posed as a restaurant maître d’, a winery employee, and a fellow tourist. “They walk in and like clockwork she sees Jane Eyre, pulls it down, opens it up and he’s down on one knee. Moments like that make me cry.”
In fact more than six years in, Fox says she still regularly finds herself teary-eyed. “I definitely get emotionally involved in every proposal,” says the pro. “It’s always new to me. I’m not jaded.” After all, she realizes she gets to be a person who literally makes dreams come true for a living. “I want the people I work with to really have everything that they imagined come to life,” says Fox, adding she’s considering increasingly grander moments. (On her wish list: a private fireworks proposal and one in every major city, which is why she tries to book clients every time she travels.) Continues Fox, “It’s just beautiful to witness and see how it all comes together. I’m so blessed. I have the best job.”
https://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/proposal-photo-ash-fox-photography-1217_sq-1.jpg570570Ash Foxhttps://www.ashfoxphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Ash-Fox-Primary.black-3.pngAsh Fox2018-09-07 18:18:412022-04-21 03:30:09Feature in Martha Stewart Weddings Magazine
Since she started her business in 2012, she’s helped plan and photograph almost 1,000 marriage proposals.
Her favorite part of her job is seeing a proposal executed from start to finish. She enjoys being a part of an amazing moment, she told Business Insider. “These days, people feel like there’s no such thing as romance anymore and that chivalry is dead, but these clients are really making it happen.”
In her experience so far, no one has ever said no.
Fox works with clients from all over the world. From the time they contact her asking for ideas to the moment they get down on one knee, she’s there through it all.
This is 30-year-old Ash Fox. She grew up in Bridgewater, New Jersey and attended college at NYU. She graduated in 2009 with a Bachelors in Fine Arts and has worked as a photographer ever since.
Ash Fox.Ash Fox Photogrpahy
Fox has worked with couples of all backgrounds, ethnicities, sexualities, and ages 18 through 80. She estimates that 75% of her clients have come from outside of New York City, so she often works through Skype and phone calls to plan their big moment.
Ash Fox Photography
Most people who are proposing come to Fox for her experience — she is able to act as a mentor and coach for her clients, guiding them through the whole process.
Ash Fox Photography
One thing she knew for certain when she graduated college was that she didn’t want to get a full-time job that would pay very little and allow her no creative freedom.
Ash Fox Photography
She began her photography career shooting late-night rock and roll parties. “I made it my goal every night to get a really great portrait of everyone at the party,” she said.
Ash Fox Photography
She received so many compliments on her portraits that she realized there might be a different, better use of her skills.
Ash Fox Photography
Juggling almost 10 jobs at a time, she re-marketed herself and began photographing corporate and family events like Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and small weddings.
Ash Fox Photography
Fox figured that if she could bring in at least $100 a day, she could make it in New York.
Ash Fox Photography
One day she was asked to shoot a proposal in Central Park. At first, she was taken aback. “I thought to myself, we’re really entering this super narcissistic way of taking photos of everything and allowing nothing to be a private moment,” she said.
Ash Fox Photography
But after the shoot, she changed her mind. “A proposal is more romantic than a wedding because it’s an intimate moment between just you and your loved one,” she said. “It’s not a performance — it’s about the two of you.”
Ash Fox Photography
Soon after, she was asked to do another. She quickly realized people needed help not only with the pictures, but with making sure the proposal goes off without a hitch.
Ash Fox Photography
When a grateful mother of a groom-to-be told Fox how touched she was to have her son’s proposal pictures, she also said something that reassured Fox she was on the right path: “This is what you’re meant to do.” “I call her my ‘Proposal Fairy Godmother,'” Fox said.
Ash Fox Photography
As far as her rates, Fox works with the client’s budget. “I’m not looking to take huge cuts,” she said. “I need to cover my cost, but I can maximize a person’s budget with whatever they have.”
Ash Fox Photography
The first thing she asks is whether her clients have an idea, or are looking to her for advice. “Some people have very clear ideas, and others have no idea and say, ‘Tell me the most romantic thing I can do,'” she said. “Then I ask if their significant other is a more public or private person, and we get a little deeper.”
Ash Fox Photography
Fox reminds her clients to stick to their gut. “There are times a client will say to me, ‘I want these specific people there.’ Or they will say to me, ‘Their family and friends really want to be there.’ I’ll tell him or her, ‘Is that what you want? Or is that what your partner wants?'”
Ash Fox Photography
She has three tips to remember when planning the proposal of your significant other’s dreams: First, know what your partner might like. “You should not be proposing if you don’t have a sense of who they are, and have some idea of what they might like,” she said.
Ash Fox Photography
Second, Fox insists you get down on one knee. “A proposal is not a proposal if you’re not down on your knee! If you’re standing, it takes away from the drama and romance of this special moment,” she said.
Ash Fox Photography
Lastly, Fox suggests enlisting outside help — if not a proposal planner or photographer, at least ask a family member or friend how they proposed, including any insight on what did or didn’t make it special.
